Moving on
by autumn-leaf16
Summary: A Kensei x Risa. Kensei thinks about how he still loves Risa after everything, while Risa is slowly moving on from her past, including the man she loved.


_**Author's Note:**_ _**I really like the Vizards and I think that Kensei actually likes Risa due to Volume 25, as he seem to be quite concerned for her- counting down the time and I feel that his words to Ichigo is a bit personal, because he was just attacking Risa. In addition, they also seem to always talk to one another, as well as sitting/standing beside each other.**_

* * *

The reason that she stayed up in order to read her manga was because things didn't always go according to one's plans. She had to help Shinji with his maths homework due to his numerous pleadings.

"You will only make people suspicious if you get a really good mark in your homework yet fails in tests." Was her dry reply when Shinji wanted her to let her do it all.

Risa enjoyed these manga because they were more real and suitable for her. Perhaps it was because she learnt that love was not perfect.

Smiles and vows did not make him try…

No, she wouldn't dwell on the past.

Closing her book she leant back again, finally going to sleep this time. Staying up in order to find out about the ending was certainly well worth it although she was so sleepy that she couldn't even bother to go to her room.

Her long braid made lying down a bit uncomfortable regardless of the angel so she pulled it out of its retraining rubber band and quickly un-braid it.

Now that she was fully comfortable, she leant back and closed her eyes.

* * *

Kensei and Rose were the first one to get up as they happened to have the duty of doing the chores and shopping for the day. They weren't really surprised to see that a light was still up in their 'lounge', as they both presumed that it was Shinji, who fell asleep in the attempt of trying to finish his homework.

"To think that I'm reduced to this state…" was been the other's constant complain.

"If you got Ichigo then you won't be doing this." Hiyori had snapped back bluntly.

"…Risa?"

It was Risa but she was very different as her manga was beside her instead of covering her face and absorbing all her attention. In addition, her hair was completely unbound, something that they've never seen before.

"Don't wake her up." Rose decided, preventing Kensei from yelling out.

"But we shouldn't leave her here." Kensei reasoned.

"Of course not, you'll take her back to her room."

"Why me? Why not you?" Kensei immediately protested, his tone almost one of panic.

"Because you want to." Rose said simply. "And because you should be impulsive in this area as well. Love once said that if you had done something earlier then she wouldn't have ended up being with him."

"I couldn't have forced myself on her!" Kensei snapped even though he did obediently picked her up. "Besides, after what I did to her…"

"How was that your fault? That was the hollow." Rose said very firmly. "Besides, hasn't enough years passed?"

"Enough for her to forget about being betrayed? We all regard ourselves as being betrayed by the soul society but how much more it must hurt her. Even if he wasn't her lover he was her captain."

"That is why we all think that you are being foolish by not helping her to move on when you have the ability of doing so."

* * *

Risa automatically reached for her hairbrush when she woke up, she still would need to spend sometime on her hair even she if she didn't un-braid it the previous night as it was rather long.

Maybe she should be like Shinji by having a new hair style due to cutting the whole thing off.

"Kensei?" she examined out in shock when she saw him sitting by her bed. "Have you come to borrow one of my manga? I know you are interested!"

Despite her tone, she was actually a bit nervous at having him see her with her hair like this.

"Of course not!" he immediately protested. "I was…I saw you sleeping on the sofa so I…"

"Oh, that's right. I was too tired to go to my room after finishing my manga. As a thank you, I'll lend you a very good one.

As he watched her rummage through the small cabin beside her, he couldn't help but to wonder whether she was like this all along, or whether this was just a habit she picked up during their exile. He was pretty sure that she never did such a thing when she was in his division- he would never have wanted such a person to be his lieutenant!

That was such a long time ago, when her hair was held up by a clip as it wasn't that long yet.

"What is it? You have something on your mind." Risa said. "You'll usually be telling me to stop making assumptions about your reading habits."

"I know that this will sound strange but I've been thinking about the past." He admitted.

"The past? I suppose that is understandable since we are in this area once again after so many years."

"I was thinking of how much I wanted to be a shinigami and how happy I had been when I was accepted into the school." He said. "Then I became a captain but things just…things just went downhill from there."

It didn't take him long to have a strange feeling for her but she was quickly transferred due to her promotion. Then she was rumoured to be the lover of her new captain…what was quickly revealed to be the truth.

As if to make matters worse, he ended up with a lieutenant the completely opposite of Risa in a bad way. His temper was tested so often that people began to wonder whether this was healthy.

"How would we have guessed that those who should have helped us didn't even stretch their hand?" She muttered bitterly before she shoved a book into his hand and pushed him out of her room. "Go and read it, it is really is good. I am going to get some more sleep."

Kensei didn't protest as he felt that it was of no use- he made her mind go too far into the past.

He was not wrong because as soon as she closed the door, Risa took out the fine bracelet that she placed behind her collection of manga and magazines.

This was the first gift she received from "him" and even though she refused to wear it, she was unable to throw it away.

* * *

As Hiyori told Ichigo, she was not as kind hearted as Shinji, and this phrase could apply to both Risa and Kensei. Unlike Shinji, who fought Ichigo with only his unreleased blade, or the protesting Rose, Love and Mashiro, or the clearly agitated Haichi, Risa and Hiyori voiced no objection to Hiyori's decision.

"Don't kill him." Shinji reminded Risa when she was about to enter, as he knew that what had happened to her made her a bit more harsh- she was less likely to give someone a second chance.

"As long as I don't get killed." She answered simply.

Kensei was worried for her even though he knew how skilled she was since he did once have her in his team. The fact that she ended up being a part of this mess was another indication of her skills. She was the only lieutenant among the reinforcement sent from the other divisions, as Haichi was slightly different.

But he could not help but to alternate his stare from her and their stopwatch- even wishing that the time would pass faster.

Risa was in control of the situation even though Ichigo was a dangerous opponent as he actually left a slight cut on her upper arm and check, the last time that any of them had been in such a situation was quite some time ago- excluding Hiyori's very recent match with Ichigo.

"Three…two…one."

It was his turn as the ten minutes has finally passed- and it was such a long ten minutes.

Risa was probably waiting for the right time to dodge or attack but seeing her standing there in front of Ichigo made him rush forward and elbowed Ichigo.

Her eyes narrowed slightly- was this disapproval?

"Time's up." He said- a good enough excuse.

Ichigo let out a scream as he prepared to attack again, and it seemed that he sensed the ruthlessness of his opponent's gaze.

"Muguruma Kensei." Kensei declared out as he took out his knife. "And I, am going to kill you."

* * *

What happened since the day they met Ichigo was not unexpected, but they were still shocked at how fast everything developed. They begun to prepare for the biggest fight of their life only a few days after Ichigo left.

"Hiyori, you have…" Shinji didn't even have time to finish his sentence as Hiyori leapt forward and delivered a well aimed kick.

"Why are you speaking with that sort of tone?" she snapped. "It is disgusting!"

"Are you alright?" Love automatically asked before he noticed the man who had entered alongside Shinji.

He did not seem to be a stranger but none of them could place a name on him as his face was almost completely covered by a bucket hat.

"It has been such a long time since we last met." Urahara declared out as he swept off his hat along with his half bow.

"So it is happening." Rose asked, recalling the day the vizards parted with him and Yoruichi. They were all grateful to Urahara but they all unanimously agreed that they would leave and not meet up until the day Aizen launches his final plan.

"Yes and I…I want to know if you will help us." Urahara said simply. "I have been in contact with the people from soul society- including…"

The sudden slam of the manga made by Risa was a shock to them all as she has never done this before.

"You seem to forget, Captain Urahara, that our fate would have been very different from yours." Risa stated coldly. "You would have received the lighter penalty of exile even though they saw you as the one who was responsible. We were to be executed despite being the victims."

"Risa is not wrong, why should we help those who turned their back on us?" Kensei agreed. "Unlike Risa and Rose, we were suppose to be killed just due to that accident."

"I can understand why the senate might think that all hollows should be killed regardless of the cause," the more reasonable Rose added. "But why should any of us be so generous by helping?"

"We've made our decisions already." Shinji said on behalf of them all. "We will participate as it is something that has to be done. But we…we have not got rid of our dislike toward Shinigami.

Urahara was exiled but he had not been completely severed from the shinigami, as many like Rukia would still see him. His exile was from the soul society, not the society of the shinigami. Unlike him, the Vizards would never be fully accepted due to what happened to them- the automatic prejudice would always be there.

"There is another thing, the majority of the captains and lieutenant will be there…" Urahara continued, looking directly at Risa.

"Nothing can be changed." Was the rather cold answer from Risa, although her hands were tightly clenched together.

* * *

Instead of finishing the last pages of her manga, Risa put it down in exchange for her hairbrush. As she unloosened her plait and brushed it, she recalled how his fingers would once weave around her loose hair.

She grew her hair to this length as he always said that girls were even more beautiful if they had long flowing hair. Yet she kept it braided most of the time as she was not overly fond of long hair, especially in battles.

The hair clip she once used had become impractical so she gave it to young Nanao- who vowed to grow her hair in order to use it.

Would that young girl even remember her?

But that wasn't the most important thing- it was his reaction.

Despite what Kensei thought, Risa knew that he cared about her in a much different way. She realised this even when they were still shinigami as the extremely tough captain of the seventh division would always be rather flustered when she was near him.

Kyouraku even commented about that. Just some teasing as he was not the type of man to get jealous.

But she never gave Kensei any chances as she felt that it was a bit unfair. She was unable to move from Kyouraku's betrayal.

Their relationship had lasted for a very long time and she even once considered about the possibility of marriage. However, this man accepted her death without doing anything.

* * *

Aizen was a very calculating man but he made one fatal mistake that might have altered the tide: he forgot to consider his victims from such a long time ago.

The senate declared that the execution has been carried out and even though some did suspect or hope that this might not be the cause as Urahara and Yoruichi escaped, no one thought that the hollowfied shinigamis could control their powers.

The new aid was a big help because even though they were a small number, they were certainly all very skilled since they were all either captains or lieutenants.

"Risa, you really are alive." Kyouraku examined out, rushing to her side only stop upon meeting a pair if very cold eyes.

"No thanks to you." She said very chillingly.

Risa had no idea what her reaction would be but now it seemed that she finally found out: she was unable to forgive him.

"Lieutenant Yadomaru!" Nanao was to receive a much warmer greeting.

"Nanao-chan, you've grown so much! Are you taller then me now?" Risa said all this with a slight smile that made Kyouraku rather envious. "You are wearing that hairclip!"

"Risa…we are leaving now." Kensei declared out, coming to stand beside her after he finished his conversation with Shuuhei.

"Now?"

Kensei nodded as he was actually too nervous to speak. There was a real possibility of her staying since 'he' was right here.

"Of course, this is not our mess and we did enough to clean it up." Risa said before she turned to the two who were her strongest link to the soul society. "Goodbye."

She took out that bracelet and put it into the hand of the one who gave it to her.

"We cannot go back to the way we were." Risa whispered. "I now truly realise this."

* * *

A few days later, Risa found herself in a department store with the goal of buying a new dress after a haircut. None of them were sure about what to do just yet, but they knew that they would continue to stick together.

"We can help Ichigo train, he still need that." Shinji had pointed out.

But this was a new beginning and that was why Risa was doing this.

Nanao appeared to be like her and this made Risa realise how little she had changed. Despite hiding that bracelet she was really continuing to be the way she had been. She was still trying to be Lieutenant Yadomaru, captain Kyouraku's lover.

The braided hair and short skirt was another sign of how she clung onto her past.

The braid was now gone as her hair was now shoulder length with part of it layered. She nodded in approval until she frowned at the sight of her clothes- this outfit was still too much like her old uniform.

The jeans and t-shirt felt too weird, so were the cargo pants. After some more failed attempts she decided to continue wearing a dress, only that it would be in a completely different style.

The dress the sale girl recommended was like what the bar hostess in manga often wear: it was like an evening gown. Due to the condemnation of being much too formal, another dress was brought to her.

This was a long summer dress and it was quite pretty.

But a frown appeared the moment she tried to walk in it: the long skirt was more then a little troublesome.

"We have a similar dress that has a much shorter skirt. I'll get it for you." The sale girl quickly offered, as she sensed that this customer was determined to buy something today.

The skirt of the new dress was a much better length as it just reached her knee, but this was not very different from what she usually wore.

"You suit a shorter skirt much more. This dress is actually one of our most popular one…" the sale girl began.

The reflection in the mirror was now familiar without being identical. She was still her, only that she changed her hairstyle.

The skirt was the right length as this was what she preferred, and to deliberately substitute it for a pair of jeans or an ankle length skirt would be hiding who she really was.

This was what she wanted; she wanted to forget about the past, not herself.

* * *

She was walking along the park in her new dress with her hair down when she saw two very familiar figures: Kensei and Mashiro. It seemed that the latter was teasing her former captain again.

"Risa?" both of them examined out in surprise when she walked up to them.

"I had a hair cut and went shopping." She said simply.

"You…you do look different." Kensei muttered.

As always, he felt rather tongue tied at such a situation. This discomfort naturally made Mashiro giggle.

"Kensei is an idiot!" she sang out before she ran off, leaving all the shopping they were doing behind.

"You…"

"She's gone and you can't chase her with all this." Risa said logically as she picked up some of the bags. They were a bit sick of bento so they decided to make their own meals.

Muttering something along the line of "Why do I have to be in this situation?" he took the remaining bags and started to walk alongside Risa.

"Haven't you managed to control yourself after how many years with her as your lieutenant and then how many years we've wondered around?" Risa asked dryly.

"It's not me, it's her!" Kensei immediately protested before he added the following in an unusually soft voice. "Even more frustrating is the fact that I almost had you for lieutenant. If you weren't transferred so quick…"

"You are not the only one who regrets that."

"Risa?"

"I've said goodbye to Kyouraku Shunsei." She said simply. "I realise that I can't forgive him because I believe that he should have done more if he really loved me."

"I would never just let you go if I was your captain or…"

"I know, you'll probably grab me and run away. You are always so rash, Kensei. But why," she asked in a soft voice as she stretched her hand to him. "Did you manage to be so patient in this matter?"

"You gave me no chance and I don't want to lose my last hope or…"

"I am giving you one now."

Kensei took her offered hand without any hesitation and in his eagerness, his grip was almost too hard.

"I love you." He finally whispered out these words, what he had wanted to say for such a long time.

Risa rewarded him with an uncharacteristic gentle smile that few had the privilege of seeing. Her next words made him more then a bit happy due to their promise and sincerity.

"I believe that I will be able to say it one day."

* * *

**_Author's Note: I think what happened with the vizards can go both way; I personally think that the others didn't try to help them, although I know that some think that there really wasn't anything that they could do. But I feel that it seems that Kyouraku and Risa did sort of have some sort of relationship, and I think she must have been rather disappointed that he didn't do anything obvious to help, so I think she probably felt a bit resentful at him. _**

**_As I said, I think Kensei does like her and he does seem to be someone who would go against the rules for the woman that he love, so I think he would have charged to the senate and screamed at them, instead of just doing nothing._**


End file.
